Jump! Baby Bird, Jump! ~ Self Portrait #24

This portrait, # 24 is quite appropriately numbered. 24 is my current age, and last November when Ms. 24 said, 'Hey-lo Inge!' It was one of the hardest days of my life...What happened exactly?  My pretty life plan come to a screeching halt. The road I was traveling down suddenly ended at a raging river. I tried furiously to lay new stones in the river, but they just melted away like away like money in your gas tank. Vapor. Even my levitation device broke! Absolutely nothing worked. The river would not let me cross it!My only option was to turn around and find a different road.I didn't want to, but I had to do it. I was infuriated, sad, scared and devastate all in one day. How could these plans, my beautiful plans collapse? Why? How could this be? I had fought hard, done everything I had know how to keep my dreams alive, yet still I lost them all in a matter of days. Ruined.I didn't want to accept how dead my dreams were, but I finally did and decided that I had to find a new dream. So I defiantly dressed up in my best superhero-like clothes and practiced my 'I'm strong; I can conquer the world with one hand tied behind my back! ' face in the mirror.  Yet inside of me - Oh! I was a weeping, scared, angry, confused but trying to move forward in faith that all of this was meant to be.If you had read my thoughts during this time, this is what you would have heard....1. "Help, Help! I don't want to step out. I don't know if I can. It will be awkward. It will be hard. It will be scary! I don't want to! Noooooo!!!"I theorize this is exactly what a baby bird feels like when the mama tells him to jump out of the nest.Side Note: If I were a baby bird, I'd be calling baby bird child services stat! For Animal Cruelty!

"Help! My mom is pushing my out of an 18-foot tree, can anyone say birdie abuse? Call the police! Call the police!" 

Back on Track: But really, think about it. Imagine what it would feel like on that inevitable day when your mama says "Get your butt out of this nest!"And on my 24th birthday that is what happened to me.Mama didn't tell me to "get" a moving. This time it was God saying..."Get! Set out of your cozy, comfortable nest. You've been in here too long, and your legs are getting too long for the nest. Take that scary new step to risk. Risk living your real dream. Don't live the half-dream. Trust in me enough to pursue that dream that you've kept hidden and never pursued because of fear.""But, but,....I don't want to," I whimpered... 'I quite like my surroundings, and the food isn't half bad. I can suffer through the squatty potties, and keep living a pretty good life...." but really deep, deep, deep down in the recesses of my soul, I did want too step out. 1st I really, truly hate squatty potties, and 2nd in my heart, I knew where I had been that I wasn't fulling using or developing the talents God had given me.So there on my birthday, I was booted out of the nest. I didn't even jump! I was pushed! Oh, it was scary! The most mournful birthday of my life. I'm a little ashamed to tell you how many boxes of Kleenex were drenched with my tears and snot on the way down. But when the tears dried up, I slowly started to expand my wings. They were young and weak, and I tumbled out of the nest like a baby bird.And when I hit the ground, I didn't land even close to where I thought I would. The world wasn't like I expected it to be.. Yet..... the fall wasn't as painful as I had imagined, in fact it was downright fun in a weird kind of old wooden roller-coasterish - thriller movie kind of way.Now that I am out of the nest, I'm relieved and more at peace. I didn't realize how stifling it was up there. I didn't see that I had been living a half life, and settling for the second best, and I've learned that God only wants the bestest life fully of joy for his children. No settling allowed, people!Now outside, I can dream unreasonably, smile fully, dance lightly, love and be loved AND sit on a blessed Western Toilet! My butt has never been so happy. :)I am more free now than I have ever been in my entire life! And the world?!!? Why, it is 102x more amazing than I thought it could ever be and the people are just lovely. And to think that I am just learning to use these wings. Imagine how delightful it will be once year 25 and 26 hits my bones? Unimaginable. ;)Lately I've been trying to climb up all the trees I encounter, big, small, fat, ugly, tall, you name it. I take a deep breath and climb----up, up, up, I go! And then when I get to the top, I take a few more breaths - this time much deeper, and bigger - I stall a wee bit, do a little motivation jig, pat myself on the back, say the Lord's prayer about 10x and then poof!I jump and squeal simultaneously  - like a scared piglet, ridiculous, I know. Don't judge my motivation methods.. :) -First I start to tumble but then I remember.... I've got wings! And every time I spread them, they work, and with each jump they get stronger, my heart gets more trusting, and I fly a little further than before.I bet when I get to Ms. 25 these wings will find more surprises, challenges, lovely people, adventure, blessings and freedom than I can fathom. ^^With every tree I climb and every mile I fly, I am learning more and more that God has an amazingly beautiful life for me and all of us. More full than I can ask or imagine. The transformation of my life from last November 3, 2011 (my birthday) to now, May 2012 -- 7 months is astounding. No words. I am being constantly showered with goodness. I constantly feel like slapping and pinching myself to make sure that I am actually alive.My heart is learning that I really, really can let go of my worries and truly trust that God is a good Father, and that he wants the very best for me so my risks really aren't risks at all. He's always got my back, yo!

So don't be afraid, jump, baby bird, jump!

You've got angel wings!

Back to the Kitchen

Yesterday I spent a lovely day of cooking madness, helping my dear friend Net out in her vegan/vegetarian restaurant Mae Loe Gyi in Mae Sariang. In the process she taught me some of her most delicious recipes. It was a wee crazy busy but super productive. I even came up with a new salad to add to the repertoire.  It was a lovely day and worth every bit of suffering that comes with not having the time to eat breakfast or lunch on account of all of the customers clamoring to eat Net's delicious food. :)After a hard days work in the kitchen, we finally got a chance to rest our tootsies and enjoy Net's amazing Vegetarian Khao Soi and the new creation Salad. I included the salad recipe if you fancy trying it out.  But sorry, dear friends, the Khao Soi is Net's recipe which I am shamelessly hoarding. You may only taste it if you come to visit me in Thailand. :) And please allow yourself the freedom to experiment with the salad. Strict recipes zap all the amazingness out of cooking.  The Salad of the Day Recipe...1) Mix the following ingredients in a bowl.1 Onion sliced very thinly2 small chile peppers minced2 green onions sliced4 Tomatoes cut in 8ths1/2 cucumber chopped1 red bell pepper sliced1/3 fresh cashews or favorite nut.2) Add the following to your bowl of veggiesDressing:1-2 Juice of Lime1 Tbs. White Sugar1 Tbs. Soy Sauce2-3 Tbs. Hot Water.3) Then Mix in3/4 c. Deep Fried Mushroom Meat-substitute. It's delicious you find the right substitute brand or try your favorite meat in bite-sized pieces.4) Then mix in -->2 tsp toasted rice powder (optional) Look in a Asian grocery storehandful of mint leaves5) Taste it to adjust your desired sweet/spicy/salty balance...6) FINALLY.....Prepare a bed of lettuce,pour the salad on top of the bed and garnish with2 boiled eggs quartered, a sm handful of mint leaves and a sprinkling of toasted rice powder ENJOY! ^^ 

Laos Travels.....

I just got back from a lovely weekend in Laos with my dear Canadian friend Dave. He treated me to the best fruit smoothies in all of the land and let me crash in his fancy guest bedroom and sleep in for hours and hours. My bus-weary body thanks him so very much! This picture was taken while exploring the Mekong Riverside one evening.

Girlhood Frolicks ~ Fashion Shoot ~ Part Two

Part 2 of the Summer fashion shoot from Gyahaha's summer clothing line designed by the brilliant clothing designer Hyeon-ja of Gyahaha and help from business partner Hyunmi. Doesn't this just make you want to go on summer picnics, play dress-up, run barefoot, and eat so much watermelon that it dribbles down your chin and makes your hands impossibly sticky from the fruity goodness, or is that just me? 

Summer's Anticipation! ~ Fashion Shoot ~ Part One

Do you remember a couple of months back or rather almost 11 months ago?  In April 2011, I had a 5-month challenge for myself ?Remember challenges two and three?2) Collaborate with another artist (fashion designer, make-up artist, etc.) on a Photography Shoot3) Do a Fashion Shoot in SeoulSo I didn't quite do a fashion shoot in Seoul, but rather in the most beautiful countryside of Gangwon-do in East Korea! Which was about a million times better than photographing in Seoul. And I got to do some serious collaboration too!I paired with the brilliant clothing designer Hyeon-ja of Gyahaha and business partner Hyunmi for a crazy Saturday of pretty clothes, 3 am wake up calls, lots of hard work and the most tasty beef barbeque in all of Korea. We didn't finish until the next day at 6 am! It was worth the sleeplessness. We produced this shoot for their summer clothing line which is absolutely stunning! I am finally posting Part 1 for the internet world to see. Part 2 to come! :) If you're in Seoul, be sure to visit Gyahaha near Ewha and Hongdae University! It's a girl's clothes Heaven!In honor of warm weather and good melodies, take a gander at my new favorite song from Avalanche City ~ Love, Love, Love .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWzzbuJJYQc&feature=BFa&list=PL7F6FD55BE8CCC5A5&lf=results_main   

Hello Sunday Procrastination...

I have emails to write and things to do tonight. A busy, busy night, with a cup of home-brewed Starbucks cinnamon coffee to keep me energized, like the bunny! but I thought I'd procrastinate first by posting a little blog.* caption: It's a big 'ole world out there, but our job is just to take one step at a time and enjoy every blessed moment. ---  And on that note, I'm off to take another step!

~~~~~

 p.s. a large gecko just ran up the side of my wall, larger than usual. Good thing it wasn't a rat. I might have screeched. But geckos they are just cool, so they have permission to run up and down my wall as they please.

Watermelon Salad Love

It's Monday here in Thailand, and Monday is always a good day to express Love right? It helps the Mondays go a wee bit better than if you had less love. And how do I choose to express my love on this lovely Monday? With a salad of course. I can't think of much else in the whole wide world that I like to make and eat than a nice big amazing salad. Three times a day, if possible.I am a little or perhaps a lot in love with salads. I am in fact twitterpated with salads. Yes, twitterpated is a word. Google it.I love salads so much that eventually I'm plan on opening my own salad restaurant, but that shan't be for years in the future, in a foreign land, with odd looking people surrounding me. For now I'm very happy with my picture taking ways. In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to have you come along with me on my salad escapades. Perhaps you'll even be a brave soul and try to make AND eat one of these creations? Gasp! Perhaps, but I shan't get my hopes too high, it is only Monday, you know.My first salad of choice? Well I opened up the refrigerator last night and the food started speaking, ::what? the food doesn't normal speak to you too?:: Well this is what my food friends introduced me to.

Mr. Cashew, Watermelon*, Coconut Salad

* cultural note * My Thai brother says that Watermelon is a lady's fruit, but I disagree. He is just jaded because he is Thai, and the only fruit he still likes is durian and rambutan.  Lames choices of fruit lovin' if you ask me.

The recipe follows the pictures :)

Ingredients:

(change amounts to personal taste + experiment please! that's what makes cooking so fun!)

1. 2 cups seedless or seed watermelon cubed

2. 1 cup fresh coconut meat sliced

3. 1 cup tomatoes sliced in eighths

 4. 2 cups sm. white radishes found an asian grocery store.

Amazing, amazing!

5. 1 small onion sliced thinly

6. 1/2 cup cashew nuts halves + 1/4 cup (saved for garnish)

7. olive oil + salt to taste

prepare and mix first the first 6 ingredients. Toss the salad with the olive oil and salt to taste.

Then make it all pretty like with a drizzle of oil and 1/4 cashew nuts to top it off!

A Coffee Moment...

Today after lunch the Thai brother comes into the room with his 3rd or 4th cup of coffee for the day. His mom mumbles something about how he drinks coffee just like it is water.He defends himself:"I drink 6 or 7 coffees a day so that I won't fall asleep," he said sincerely.Sure that makes sense. 6 or 7 is a lot, but I lived through college. I understood him.But then I ask him, 'So then why do you always have to drink one cup of coffee just seconds before bedtime?'"If I no drink coffee,' he said 'I sleep no good."I tell him that he's nuts and then hand him a caffeine addict anonymous card.Coffee logic. It's amazingly delicious :)

Talented, Talented, Talented

Ok so have I ever told you that I have the most amazingly talented friends in the entire world? My friends are way more talented than other people's friends. It's just a life fact. Don't be jealous :)To prove my point... my dear friend Sarah Vied  made my Christmas so easy this year. Basically I emailed her and said I have X amount of friends in Thailand and can you crochet hats, headbands for them? I told her their sizes and said just to create exactly what she wanted: the color, the style. Because she's that good.  And boom! Like that.. Maybe 3 days later all of my beautiful presents were finished, ready for the giving. I am blessed, am I not? Well here are the ridiculously beautiful presents that she made for me!And if you want to be as lucky as me. Here is her website http://onlysarah.wordpress.com/ so you can get her to make you whatever you please, for yourself or maybe for someone you love too. That is if you can bare the thought of parting with your lovely new crocheted hat, scarf, or headband... :)  

~ Back to School 2012 ~

These days I feel as though I am on the yellow school bus headed back to elementary school. It is the first day of school. The air is crisp, and there are so many exciting possibilities that await me, but also overwhelm me when I realize what there is left to learn. I question whether I can really digest all of this in time to use it for life?I have to remind myself again and again and then again that anything of quality takes work and lots of time to build. So Inge, breath in and out, repeat slowly (similar to all those pregnant women on TV, but hopefully much less painful?) and take in every moment of this lovely life and learn at your pace. Because the elephant is much more tasty when you enjoy each bite rather that trying to put the whole animal in your mouth at one go. That is unless you're one of those wicked cool snakes with a crazy detachable jaw.. But since I'm not, I'll stick to one bite, chew, swallow, and then repeat. Only 1,999,998 bites to go. I've got this!   

Self Portrait #23 ~ Step on Stage!

~

All your life you've practiced, practiced, practiced and then just to be certain, you practice some more. Then there comes the day that you finally realize that there is really only one more thing left to do, step on that stage and give the finest performance your soul has to offer.

Cheers to you stepping on the stage of life and never being afraid to shine bright, bright, bright, and then brighter still!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world."

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  ~ Marianne Williamson

  

Dear Liz Lauer. My life today... Jan 30, 2012

Liz Lauer, just so you know, today at 6:30am I arrived in Bangkok, Thailand after a 10-hour bus ride. I traveled 10 hours just so I could enjoy a latte, spinach&ham omelet, kiwi juice, my first motorbike taxis (so much cheaper and faster than taxis!) and ultimately go to a couple of meetings where there were lots of exciting ideas floating around. I am pretty sure that they were all inspired by the high caffeine content in the air! Tonight at 7p.m. I'm jumping back onto a overnight bus to see Ms. Mandy McConaha one more time before I head back to my little rice town, wish me and my neck luck!Love your friend, Ingep.s. Here are a few pictures from when I played around with filters near my home base of in Mae Hong Son, Thailand....   p.p.s. here is a song that my dad said reminded him of me when he hears it. What do you think? Do you think of me when you hear it? "I Wish I could Go Traveling Again" - Stacey Kent. 

Happy Birthday! May it be Full of Specialness :)

Happy Birthday to one of the coolest people on the planet! My little brother, Michael. I hope your birthday is full of magic, Oreo ice cream and good country music.Can you believe how old you are today?You know, I remember when were just five years old, and you about gave us all heart attacks because you liked to stick metal knives and forks into the electric sockets. I assume you wanted to check if they were still working. And our sockets, without fail, worked very well. They lit you up, but I guess you didn't mind because you would still try to sneak past Mom and go back for more.Do you think the unnatural level of electrons in your body is the cause of your brute strength? hmmmm.. Quite possibly, Maybe this was why you would always gain muscle mass 20x faster than I would at the gym even though we both worked out the SAME amount of time with the SAME trainer. Not fair!But regardless of your past unhealthy obsession with electric conductivity, I want to say that I am super proud of the intelligent, fun, kind person you've grown into, and I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and a kiss and lecture you on life. But instead, I'm harnessing all my magical powers, and I'm sending loads of blessings your way from Asialand. These should keep you nicely until I see you again in a few months. :)Happy BIRTHDAY, party, party like it's 1999! :) Isn't he just the cutest thing you've ever seen? (hehe, I hope I'm succeeding in your severe discomfort, Michael. On a scale to 1-10 how uncomfortable are you? Because I am trying very, very hard).

Fruit Angels, Papaya Skin and Beach Bumming

 Last week = Sunny skies, Ocean Kayaks, Pineapple smoothies, Moonlit swims, and Dark Chocolate ummmm... Are you jealous, yet? What if I added eight dollar beach massages to that list? Hehehe? Am I evil? Yes, I think so.Well then I guess you'll just have to visit me. Not to experience my evil side, but rather to partake in the Earthly heaven known as Thailand. When you deplane you will understand more clearly. There are practically wingless angels on every street corner, who sell fresh papayas, mangos, pineapple and watermelon. And Every time they sell enough fruit, they float into Heaven to get rewarded the prettiest wings in all of God's Heaven.So you must come to visit this 8th wonder of the universe. However, I won't let you in-country unless you promise to pack in ample HIGH-quality dark chocolate And sufficient cheese to last me for the next three months.  And if you succed in your mission, I will provide the above list of perks WITH a daily supply of coconut water and so many fresh papayas that your skin will turn Orange!Are you excited?I am normally not so generous with my Papaya. No, I usually guard it with my life. All Papaya thieves' hands are quickly tarred and feathered!But I have to change my tune, because, you see, I DID eat so many papayas that my skin has turned ORANGE. So orange that when I went to Americaland for Christmas half of my family asked me if I bathed in carrot juice in Thailand and the other half asked how much my full body tattoo cost me. Oooops! So I got their slight hint that maybe, just maybe, I needed to ween myself off my IV drip diet of papaya, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin deliciousness. I am slightly depressed from the lack of the 3 most important foods, but I'm using the patch, the 12 step cleansing program, and day-by-day I'm turning slowly, but surely back to my transparent state of whiteness. My grandmother would be proud.So in my new state of transparentness last week I spent the my days beach bumming, fruit shake slurping, kayaking, and just learning the value of being and enjoying the company three of the coolest ladies on the planet. Life is good.